Fellow brethren, I have recently noticed a discrepancy in the otherwise immaculately-executed plan to deceive and confuse the public with statistics (ALL HAIL STATISTICS). Here it is.
The fine demon doctor Sam Wang has, usually, been very pernicious on our behalf. His election analysis is the finest guile on the planet, equal to the baseball-founded incantations of the most unholy Nate Silver. Professor Wang hath also spread rich deception in areas such as Neuroscience and Magnets.
However, some Christian Agency must have blocked the demonic electromagnetic Wave-Particles with which we have been Beaming satanic instructions to his pocket communicator device (ALL HAIL APPLE). He hath recently reported a downtick in the polls for President Obama.
Brethren, I believe I have an explanation for this. I propose a MIXTURE MODEL describing the observed polls as a fiendish confection of two subtly different COMPONENTS:
- true, genuine, Christ-representing SALVATION polls (Rasmussen, Gallup, Gravis, We Ask America… curse them all)
- false, lie-ridden DAMNATION polls (everything else, which we forge for the benefit of President Obama, using SCIENCE).
With this Model, and a little application of the infernal Probabilistic Analysis, I do Hypothesize that we can explain the observed downtick for the President.