Several of you have tweeted in with the news that Charles Darwin received 4,000 write-in votes against the dread Preacher Broun in Tuesday’s elections.
We are indeed aware of this, in Hell. The 4,000 write-in votes were, of course, insufficient to raise Charles from the dead and install him as a zombie Representative (that takes a little more lobbyist-grease, if you know what I’m saying. Serious virgin sacrifices.)
Nevertheless, the vote has triggered quite a major reshuffle down here (well, more “mirrored” than “triggered”; the causal relationships between politics in Hell and Earth are complex). Anyway, this explains why we’ve been a little quiet recently.
A lot of you complained that we failed to make enough hay out of that storm God sent to punish the gays. Well, now you know. We were in lockdown anyway, thanks to Broun, and the weather stuff has always been one of our weaker lies.
And then on top of that… Reshuffles in Hell are Not Pretty.
I have, mercifully, been spared two fingers with which to type this post. I am writing this from a dungeon, the light is not good (let alone the wifi) and I think there are maggots in my leg, but I just wanted to say “HAIL OBAMA” and let you all know that, yes, Science is Still Alive! And boy have we got some Lies for you.